Labels

As a result of my last entry I have dealt with my emotional turmoil and have formulated a conclusion: I suppose the key to happiness is that one shouldn't care. Take life as a joke...as lila...divine play. At least this is what Swamiji said in that book. It does make sense though. Don't take everything so seriously. Don't expect anything to turn out the way you want to because things don't usually turn out the way you expect anyway. However, in the end it all makes sense. Everything that happens is connected to everything else. Anyway, life is usually hilarious if you think about it.
The other day A.A and I were at the desi store and we had just been talking about a having a nice South Indian, Kerala-style meal. The only South Indian restaurants I knew of were way on the other side of town in any direction from here. As we were lamenting this tragedy borne out of cultural isolation, we saw a flyer for a new restaurant not too far from where we live. You should have seen our eyes light up! South Indian food! Chettinad style! How much more Kerala/Tamil Nadu can you get?
Anyway, so we went there yesterday. It was fabulous and all of us really enjoyed the food. It's funny because when I was growing up, I hated dosas, idlis, sambar and vada....I don't know why. I guess being in Desi Land for 3 years really brain-washed my palate, so to speak.
I don't think there is even an ethnographic catergory for people like me yet. What am I? ABCD turned FOB? Is there such a thing? How is that possible? Or am I an ABAD? American Born-Again Desi...an ABCD who has been awakened to his/her Desi-ness? You know how much I despise labels because they are attached to essentialisms...An essentialism (stereotype), for example, would be that all ABCDs go clubbin' at clubs that have a semi-Desi atmosphere. However, I think labels allow one to have a sense of belonging. Like, I know how FOBS are....generally....I know how ABCDs act ....generally....I know how Americans are..generally...I guess essentialisms give you some handle on how people are and how to approach them. I don't think we could function without them. Until you know someone, it is difficult to see them beyond their label. It's always a good surprise when they realize you are different from your label. I guess people become more aware then.
Examples of label-busting: Yes, I'm Christian though I'm from India. No, I am not an authority on India though my parents are from there. No, I don't go clubbing with all of my cousins though I'm an ABCD. No, I don't know how to make parathas though I lived in India. No, I don't drink, smoke pot, and act promiscuous because I was born in America. Yes, I do speak Malayalam fluently though I'm an ABCD. No, I don't want to be treated like a princess though I am a woman. No, I don't speak Hindi though I lived in India for three years. No, I'm not a computer science major though I am Indian. No, I have not yet resigned to an arranged marriage though my parents want me to. No, all my close friends aren't ABCDs. No, I'm not anti-FOB because I'm an ABCD. Yes, I have anti-ABCD sentiments though I am one. No, I don't have temper tantrums every three weeks, on the dot, though I am a woman. My dad does not work at a gas station though I'm Indian We do not live in Stafford or Sugarland though I'm Malayalee.
AND NO, supari is not addictive, I just like it a LOT! Hehe.
Anyway, maybe that's why I went into this field. Maybe I'm a quintessential label-buster. I do enjoy it tremendously