Okay, two days ago I realized that my right wrist is different. "Different how?", you may ask. Well, on the surface it seems just as normal as my left wrist. But when I bend it down, a mysterious lump of bone magically appears. Now, I don't know if this lump had always been there, latent and waiting, OR if it is the result of some sort of accident that I had zoned out during. However, I don't remember anything that traumatic. Anyway, so for the past two days, I have been preoccupied with my wrist, staring at it while I type (like I'm doing now), comparing my left wrist with my right, comparing my wrist to other people's, and occasionally lamenting the fact that I'm somehow deformed. A.F., of course, takes that opportunity to agree vehemently and call me a mutant.Hmm, a mutant, eh? Like X-men or something! Wow, awesome! I can join the ranks of Wolverine, Cyclops and Storm. Maybe this wrist thing is just the beginning of some growth that will actually become a knife or a jackhammer or maybe one of those radar detector thingys! Wow, and for the meantime, until I fully evolve, I shall be called "Wrist". "Yes, now introducing Wrist, we don't know what she does with it but we're sure it's going to be mutant-worthy." Maybe my wrist can be used as a distraction. Bad guys will come to attack me and I'll be like, "Wait! Beware the Wrist," and then I shall suddenly bend my wrist and the bad guys will be mesmerised by something even they can't explain. "A girl with a protruding wrist bone," they shall say, " how utterly peculiar." And then, while enamored by my deformity, the bad guys will have their asses surprise-kicked by Wolverine or Storm! Mwaahahaha, how clever.Well, the whole mutated-super-hero thing might not be for me or, maybe after a while, mom and dad might be worried that Wrist has been single for way too long. In order to marry off their mutated daughter they may invite prospective suitors to the house. Of course, I shall have the last say. If the guy is cute or extremely engaging, a tray of chai shall be brought out with a smile. If he is not all that great, or acts like an ass, a flip of my wrist will not only drop the hot chai on his lap but shall reveal my latent wrist-secret. He shall scream with double-shock as hot chai burns through his clothing and he sets his eyes upon by the horror of the wrist! "Noooooo!", he'll cry as he tries to cover his eyes and his chai-stained crotch at the same time. He'll run straight out the door bellowing in fear, as well as a strange sense of awe. I shall smirk to myself while mom would berate me for doing it yet again. "Ayooo, at this rate, you shall never get married!!" "Hehe, I shall do it my way, mom," I would say as I pull up my velveteen glove to protect my secret weapon. "You cross me and you shall get The Wrist!"Wow! Think of all the uses of this new-found malformation! Sure, some are not necessarily good but it does make me special. Like I was telling A.A the other day. It's like I'm a unicorn but my singular horn is on my wrist. I'm a human uniwristbone! Wow, how much more special can you get when you have to name a catergory for yourself because you are just so rare? I wonder if there are others like me out there?Well, in all practicality, I better get this thing checked out. For all I know I could be dying from....I don't know....Wristboneatia? Who would have thought that this would be the way that I'd go? "Here lies our dear, L.J ,killed by her own wrist bone." How morbid! I'm going to donate my wrist to science, of course, so they will some day be able to save others like me and my wrist shall be on display for all the world to see. My wrist bone shall be more famous than I and shall live forever in the hearts and minds of generations to come.
Ode to my Wristbone
So suddenly you appeared
When I least expected you
You might be innocuous
but you might kill me too
Yet, you are very quiet
and do not reveal much
Surely you have more powers
like other mutants and such
Power to maim and
power to shock
power to distract
and power to block
You've made me special
for I am suddenly unique
A protrusion such as yourself
can only add to a physique
I love you, my wrist,for you are a part of me
why you are now here only time will help me see.
Until then, conjoined at the wrist we shall be
Forever and always,my wristbone and me.
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