In December 2014, I was appointed to a new role at work. It was a surprise and I believe I am still trying to process the changes and the stress of suddenly having to divert a lot of energy towards this new position.
One of the things I had to pull energy away from was Facebook. I don't post a lot in Facebook book but I am an avid reader of what goes on in my friends' lives. I check every morning even on the busiest days and I usually send birthday greeting, "like" a lot of posts, and comment every once in a while. So I am active on there. However, when it became more and more difficult to do this--partly because I was ruminating on my inadequacies and partly because I wanted to hide from the world-- I limited my activities especially in the weeks following the change in my role--I decided I just needed a break from it.
The questions that popped into my head as the weeks passed :
1. Would anyone notice?
2. Would relatives call my mom wondering what was happening?
3. Would this give me free time to do other "more productive" things?
4. Would I feel better about what was happening to me?
So, last week, I posted the following:
"So, as a social experiment (and because things have been insane at work), I decided to not be "active" on Facebook for the past four months. I don't think a lot of people noticed but, for me, that meant no visible activity: no updating statuses, no posting pictures, no "likes," and no comments. Mostly, I wanted to see if I could do it. That part went fine. However, this inactivity was also isolating which was interesting because I would have thought the opposite. And, actually, not being
active on here made me feel more disconnected! Is it because I am an introvert and social media makes it easier to connect with people? Maybe? Anyway, I'm back from my Facebook hiatus now. I really missed you guys!"
I was surprised at the number of likes I got but also the number of people who thought I had either blocked them or were ignoring them specifically. It is interesting how some of us would take someone else's actions so personally. I think at one time, I would have done the same.
There were several people who were also curious about the way I went about it. I provided further explanations as requested. On person asked if I had logged in at all to which I responded:
"I did log in, glance at the newsfeed, and respond to private messages & event invites. There were certain things I had to respond to especially when Facebook was the only way to contact that person.
Inactivity was especially difficult with birthdays, important milestones and when friends posted photos. I have a lot of catching up to do."
One person said they liked the experiment and may replicate it. I thought that was pretty interesting.
All in all, to address my questions, it looks like some people noticed but mostly my close friends who are most active on Facebook. No one called my mom in a panic. I spent less time checking my phone for notifications but I still logged in. I felt better only in the context of not having to worry about
what someone thought about my life since I was no longer posting my activities or photos. I felt like I
wasn't as worried about validation or acknowledgement.
I did, however, feel extremely disconnected and I do feel that has to do with me being a traveling introvert. Social media my way to connect with close friends in other places. That's why I thrived in chat rooms in the 1990s. Being raised by overprotective parents, it was my only real way to meet people.
At the same time, limiting my Facebook activities, did not give me a whole lot of incentive to "get out and mingle." Just because I am not on Facebook doesn't mean I'm going to join the club scene
and frolic around Eugene with my entourage. That just us not going to happen because that is just
not me. I think the time I did spend socially during this time was about the same (well, accept for the first few weeks when work was wreaking havoc on my peace of mind). However, it may have been more 'quality' though because I wasn't worried about posting it on Facebook.
In the end, I realized that since most of my friends are on Facebook, it is important that I connect with them there even though it is a little consuming at times. If I had to pick the lesser of two evils?Facebook over social isolation any day! I guess I have learned to live with it. For now.
